The Point I can’t Understand
I don’t even know what to think of how I’m feeling right now. There are about two emotions that I am able to sum up and they would be: Anger and depression.
I’m worried to get close to the people that I want to, there’s always something that seems to go wrong. I tend to choose those kinds of people that end up getting hurt around me or my personality is something that could drive them nuts or push them away. It doesn’t help when those people persist in wanting to know me, and wanting to get closer and I’ve got to push them away on purpose. Why? Because I screw it all up anyways; why not just save myself the effort and don’t get them to where they love me and I have to break their hearts. Yeah, that must sound really bad from a fourteen year old, but don’t pin me yet.
I don’t even understand how some of my friends can hang around me for the time that they do. They seem to want to be my friend, and yet they always seem to want me for something, mostly it’s the protection from myself. Why would they want to be on my bad side when they could “be my friend” and get to know me much better. Usually they’re the people who stab me in the back. Who do I actually turn to when I need someone to share my secrets with? Those things that people love to giggle about at the lunch table, I can’t understand because I’m too afraid to trust.
So at this point you all most likely have stopped reading or think that it’s not all that big of a deal. I guess you’re right, but this place will be used to express my feelings and I’ll do such. If you’ve read this far and actually care then I guess I’ll thank you because I know I only have a few people on here, but to know that those few care actually helps me get through the roller coaster of two emotions.
